How to Be Married to the Most Attractive Man on Earth

{This post contains a discussion of sexual matters, and is recommended for women of marriageable age and above. While I strive to keep the discussion mature, practical, and to the point; if such things offend you, please refrain from reading further. Thank you!}

“You know what honey? You really are the most attractive man on the earth to me.”

I had waited to say these words until meant them from the bottom of my heart. When I first started dating my husband, I would tell him that he was a good man and that I loved him, but I couldn’t tell him he was handsome and attractive until I believed that he truly was handsome to the exclusion to everyone else. But when I did say these words, my man had truly become the most attractive man on earth to me, and I still tell him this often.

You may have scrolled down to look at the pictures of my husband. You may be thinking that he is okay but he is no Hugh Jackman or AFL footballer. You may be thinking that I’m delusional and that I don’t know about any other men even existing in the world.

But this is not  about what my husband looks like in comparison to other men. In a way, I don’t know about all those other men, and in another way he is far better than all those other men.

No one else has given me all of himself, and I give no part of myself to any of them. If I decided to give them some time in my thoughts or in front of my eyes, then I might have trouble not comparing – but I don’t.

I don’t give anyone else any place in front of my eyes or in my mind, because I don’t want my husband to have to compete with an athlete or anyone else for my eyes, mind, and heart. Because he deserves more than just a ring on my finger. He has given me himself, and therefore deserves all of me: mind, body, soul, and strength.

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How does my husband stay the most attractive man on earth to me? 

How is it that I can find myself solely and wholly attracted to my husband? Well, it’s not really that difficult. The only reason this mindset becomes difficult is because of the society we live in.

We had someone say to us the other day, “Your spouse is your greatest critic of your looks!” Patrick was happy to reply that I had never criticised him about his looks, and I affirmed that I had never done so and that he had also never told me anything bad about my looks. I love that our relationship is like that. I feel so safe with him.

Even (unfortunately) Christian couples make it harder for us to be faithful in our hearts at times. Wives (who should be being a better example) put their own husbands down in front of us, poke at their husband’s bellies, tell us about attractive men in the entertainment industry, recommend movies with multiple topless scenes, or even put down our husbands in front of us.

The kind of adoration my husband and I have for each other’s bodies should not be something that is unique to our relationship, however. If you are picking on your partner’s looks then you have an unhealthy relationship. The truth is that any woman can be married (and should be married) to a man whom they consider to be the most attractive man on earth. This will be easy if we don’t subject our eyes to and concentrate our thoughts on the things that the world does.

Society makes this incredibly hard. They post up huge advertisements featuring half-naked, photo-shopped men trying to get you to buy anything from towels to toiletries. They create movies with buffed up super stars that wear tight outfits and take their shirt off at any opportunity.  They tell you that it is okay to look, so long as you don’t touch… in fact, it is your right to be able to look at whoever you like. They tell you “it’s the heart that matters!” and then have you look at everything else.

How is it possible in today’s world to believe our husband is most attractive? How can we believe that we are married to the most attractive man in the world while muscular footballers roll around in shorty-shorts, and Hugh Jackman runs around on the movie screen without his shirt on?

It’s simple. Don’t stare at footballers, or go to see Wolverine–or at the very least look away when the topless scenes come around.

Am I very conservative? Probably. Am I being unreasonable? I don’t think so.

Think about it, how are you “flee[ing] fornication” when you are lusting after a man running around with his shirt off (1 Corinthians 6:18)?

There are many of you who probably think this reaction drastic, or my temptation unique. I have had women tell me to my face that it doesn’t matter if men are not fully clothed, it means nothing. If you think this is the case and that young women today are not tempted by topless men, then go look at any young women’s magazine – or even many of their Facebook pages. Young women are encouraged to look at men as “sexy” and “hot” from a very young age, and media often offers “eye candy” for those seeking (or becoming innocent prey to) such entertainment.

Pornography and lust are just men’s problems? I think not.

And this is where our relationships are suffering, because entertaining thoughts that another man is “hotter,” “sexier,” or even more competent than your husband and thinking about how much better your life would be “if my husband would just __________ (fill in the blank)” are all forms of fantasy, and are ways that women commit adultery in their minds.

Yes, I said adultery. Looking at a man to lust after his body is just as bad – in God’s eyes – as climbing in bed with Him. As Jesus said:

“But I say to you that every [woman] who looks at a [man] with lustful intent has already committed adultery with [him] in [her] heart” (Matthew 5:28).

None of us believe that we are actually married to the most physically attractive man on earth, but to us, they must become the most attractive man on earth. They must be the only man that we look at and are attracted to, just as we would wish to be the only woman that they look at and are attracted to.

How is this achieved? How can we overcome the challenges of the society we live in?

Decide to only look at your husband. If you are not married yet, start now. Whether your spouse is realized or a future goal, guarding your eyes from lust is going to help you to be faithful. You become what you practice. Sexual faithfulness, whether in thought or action, is not something that happens by accident, or that automatically comes once you are married. It is something that happens purposefully.

You must have a game plan. 

Practical Suggestions

  1. Stay away from movies/sports you know are going to have a lot of “shirt-less action,” or sex scenes. Lust starts with the thoughts, which come from what we look at. Job’s principle of making a covenant with his eyes is not just sound advice for men, but also for women (Job 31:1). If he does not belong to you, then don’t think about him or look at him like he could.
  2. Refrain from looking at, talking about, or thinking about guys that are not your husband as “hot.” When you say someone is “hot” or “sexy” you are saying that you are considering them in a sexual way. Discourage your girls from having posters up of boy bands and such on their walls. My mother never let me have any up, and this really helped me with keeping my eyes only for my husband.
  3. Do not read romance novels. Fantasizing about sex that someone other than your husband has orchestrated is going to make what your husband does seem not-so-amazing. You are going to frustrate yourself. The reality will never will be as Hollywood portrays it, or as you imagine it to be. You need to give your husband/future-husband a fair shot.
  4. Do not seek for pleasure by any means other than your husband. Again, this will only lead to frustration for yourself, and will cause your husband to feel rejected/inadequate.
  5. Do not go out alone with the opposite sex. Today’s society would have you to believe that it is possible to have intimate relationships with the opposite sex without any attraction on either side. I am not a believer in this. The danger is that if you have a bad morning and get angry at your spouse, go out for a coffee with your friend–then he’s going to be looking pretty good. Don’t flirt with danger.
  6. Sincerely compliment your husband daily. Tell him you think he is hot. Tell him why. Talk about what you like about him physically (there is always something to compliment!), as well as what you like about his mind and heart. The more you compliment him, the more you will see to compliment–and the more he will strive to please you.Husbandtalk
  7. Never ever talk badly about your husband to others. In fact, go out of your way to praise him in front of others. The more good you say about him, the more you will believe that he is good and attractive. However, the more you put him down, the more you will believe that you are married to a loser and you deserve someone better.
  8. Treat your husband as you want to be treated. If you could be the most attractive woman to one man–so attractive that he didn’t want to look at anyone else because of you, wouldn’t you feel amazing? It is possible that this can happen, even in today’s world–but if you want a man who views you in this way, you must first be a woman who is willing to view your man in this way.

It is a common misconception that modesty is only for women to carry out, just as it is a misconception that pornography, sexual desire, and lust are problems that only men struggle with. True, sometimes they are displayed in different ways, but the desire for something other than what is yours is the issue.

Your husband/future husband will seem like the most attractive man to you when you decide to let no one or nothing else take his place in your mind and heart–which means that you are going to have to carefully guard what you let your eyes see.

“The light of the body is the eye: if your eye is single [or, focused on one thing], your whole body shall be full of light. But if your eye is evil, your whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!” (Matthew 6:22-23).

“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life” (Proverbs 4:23).

It’s not about what your husband looks like in comparison to other men. Those other men are not yours to have, and have given you nothing. Your husband has given you everything, and you owe him your eyes and your whole heart. Guard them, and love him unreservedly.

If an unexpected scene on the movie screen comes up I usually turn to give my husband a kiss. Who cares about a man on a screen when I have a real one here?! He does the same for me when there is a woman baring much flesh on the screen. This makes us feel safe, secure, and loved in the face of a world that is trying to take away our affections.

Remember, only you can make your husband the most attractive man in the world. You have to decide to set your husband  up as the most attractive person in the world. When you do, he will become everything you ever dreamt of and all you ever dream of. 

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If you are struggling with any of the things I have discussed, you are not alone. If you need me to recommend some literature to you or need to talk about this to someone, please contact me!

Connect with me and keep up to date with my latest recipes and ramblings.

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{Linked to Modest Mondays; Make a Difference MondayHearts for Home; Thriving Thursday}

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13 thoughts on “How to Be Married to the Most Attractive Man on Earth

  1. I completely agree with letting your own husband shape your idea of what is attractive. If I’d been asked 5 or 6 years ago if I thought short, stocky guys looked good….my response would have been probable utter confusion because I was never much one to look at guys or think they are handsome (famously, in high school, I swooned over a plastic mannikin at the mall that had no head or hands but was wearing a very nice 3-piece suit, clothes have always caught my eye much more than bodies). But now I think my husband who is quite petite by comparison to everyone in my 6’+ family is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen…and yes I do contrive every opportunity I can to get him to wear his 3 piece suit…

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    1. So true, huh?! That attitude – of not looking at a certain type of man as attractive – makes it so much easier to find your husband as the most attractive one!
      I was kind of like you, I said, “As long as he grooms himself and cares about what he wears, I don’t mind what he looks like so much.” Lo and behold, God sent me a man who doesn’t care a lick about what he wears. He wore a fluoro pink tiger t-shirt with blue and orange shorts to the gym saying it was “chick repellent” (which was a sweet sentiment, but actually he would have wore it, chicks or no, ha!). God has a sense of humour. 😉
      …and I am so with you! I also love my man in a three-piece suit!! ❤

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  2. Absolutely. I hate it when women make fun of their husbands. Why be mean when you could build each other up? I don’t mean all joking–we joke–but not about things that would hurt his feelings. My husband is the only one I care to look at!

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  3. This. Was. Perfect. Yes, yes, yes! It’s so refreshing to hear another woman lay out how I feel about how to treat and encourage our husbands, and to be their helper. Once example is just walking in the mall past certain stores I tell him, get ready to look the other way. It’s ridiculous what pictures are up. I could ramble on, but I’ll stop. Thank you for writing this — every woman needs to read this!

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  4. A great post!! I also HATE hearing other women speak horribly of their husbands – it looks bad on them, not their men! Or calling/treating their husband like a child. So annoying. How can I ever expect my hubby to think of me as excellent (Prov 31:29) if I choose to disobey God and treat His gift to me like trash? My hubbies thoughts of me matter so much!
    I also appreciate how you addressed the fact that us women face half naked men daily – not just men seeing scantily clad women – us ladies have to be aware of this problem, too.
    Great job!

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